Ladies, there are plenty of good men out here. However, just because he is a GOOD man does not make him the RIGHT man for you. Just because he is a good man does not automatically mean that the two of you are compatible. You’re a good woman but you’re not for every man. There’s only one man for you and that’s the RIGHT man. Good doesn’t necessarily mean right. Please understand that.
I have been privy to many comments from women and it seems we’re afraid to speak our truth. It seems that we’re not being honest with ourselves. You have to be honest with yourself. There are some of you in a relationship with a good man that you need to let go. You probably should’ve never gotten in that relationship in the first place. Nonetheless, that relationship has run its course but you’re still in it. I want you to get real with yourself. Is it because he’s a good man and at least you have one? I know there’s a belief for some women that good men don’t exist but I disagree. I think the media has helped perpetuate this fear and we’ve bought into it. I think we all have beliefs around love and that contributes to who we attract and what we accept. If you’re in a relationship, I want you to ask yourself these questions. Are you genuinely happy deep within your soul or are you happy because people tell you that you should be happy with him? Does he fully support and encourage your goals and dreams? Does he bring out the best in you? Does he make you feel good about yourself? Does he inspire you? Does he have goals and dreams that he’s working on? Do you both share the same values? Are both of your life visions aligned? These are just some questions, not an end all be all. We have to look at our relationships and assess them to make sure they’re still right and healthy for us to be in. What tends to happen sometimes is that we become numb to our true feelings. We suppress them. Sometimes we don’t realize that we’ve put our needs and wants on the back burner. We don’t realize that we’ve just been going along with everything kind of on autopilot. In doing this, we have not been giving to ourselves. We have not been following our passions or pursuing our goals and dreams. I believe that comes from us being conditioned by society to do so. Women have been programmed to settle. We’ve been conditioned to put everyone else’s needs before our own. And if you add the belief that good men are hard to find, then you’re likely to just be happy that you at least have a man regardless of whether or not he’s even good for you.
I will say it again. GOOD man does not equal RIGHT man. People underestimate the importance of being with the right partner. If you have always been a woman with big dreams and big goals, then you should be with someone who supports that 100%. You should not have to minimize who you are. Being with the wrong partner can drain your energy and it can stagnate your growth. It is important for two people to be aligned to each other’s life visions. You should share the same values and be on the same page with how you want to live your lives. If you’re ambitious and driven, for example, and you get with a man who lacks ambition or is lazy, that can negatively affect you. From being around him, you could lose your ambition. Or you may become angry because he lacks ambition and start to lash out. This can manifest in other areas of your life. We are who we hang around. I don’t want women settling and dimming their light to appease a man. I believe the RIGHT man will love and accept you as you are. He will be on board with how driven and ambitious you are. You won’t have to live a life wondering “What If” because he will support your desire to want more and become more. Honor who you are. Just because you get in a relationship doesn’t mean that you throw away all of your hopes and dreams. Yes, there is compromise but you don’t necessarily have to compromise your true self. If you cannot be yourself, you’re not free. And you’re never truly going to be happy not being yourself. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Here are a few tips:
Be Honest. Be honest with yourself. You know whether or not you are truly happy in your relationship. Don’t lie to yourself. You have to admit the truth to yourself. You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge. No matter how long you’ve been together, if the connection isn’t there, it isn’t there. You shouldn’t deny it. Be honest about your situation. If you’ve grown apart, you’ve grown apart. Stop trying to sugarcoat it. How much longer are you going to pretend? Honor your feelings. The longer you hold on to something you need to let go of, the longer you delay the blessings that are waiting. One of the blessings could be a new man that will honor you as you are.
Find Yourself. Who are you at your core? What do you like? What are you passionate about? What are your hobbies? What makes you smile? Spend some time with yourself. A lot of us get into relationships looking to fill a void. That void should be filled with our own self-love and self-care. Take some time off to give to yourself. Get back to your goals and dreams. Get back to your hobbies and the things that make you happy. Invest in yourself. Travel the world. Relocate. Meet new people. Join meetup groups and do something different. Do things by yourself. Enjoy your own company. Love yourself. You need to know who you are before you get in a relationship. Have your own incredible life without a man. Find yourself. Become your best self.
Get Clear. I believe we can have it all. However, we have to be clear on what we want. Think of your ideal man. Besides him being a good man, what traits do you really need for him to possess? How would he make you feel? What are your deal breakers? Write it down on a sheet of paper. Get clear on the type of man you’d like to be with. However, you also need to be what you want to attract. In other words, you need to possess the qualities that you are seeking in him. For example, if you want a fit and athletic man, then you should not be a couch potato. A man who works out regularly is going to want a woman who at least has seen the inside of a gym. Be realistic. Like attracts like. Get clear on what you want and work on becoming that as well.
Good men do exist. You need the right man for you. You are perfect for the right man. I believe we deserve all of our hearts desires. I believe we all deserve to love and be loved. Don’t settle. Don’t stay in something that is not good for you. Honor yourself. Stop worrying about what others think. You are worthy. You deserve better. You are worth it.