Relationships. We all want to love and be loved. And we deserve love. But what is going on nowadays when it comes to relationships? It seems like many women are simply settling. For one, there is this idea of unrequited love, which I first heard Matthew Hussey talk about, where if a guy doesn’t like you, you try even harder to get him to like you. WTF? Huh? As a woman, if a guy doesn’t like you, that is not your cue to work harder for him. You are to be your authentic self and if that isn’t a fit for him, move on. You will be perfect for someone else. Why are you putting him on some pedestal like he’s God? Where is your self-respect? Men go hard for what they want. Think about that movie He’s Just Not That Into You based on the book by Greg Behrendt. Books have been written by men clearly stating that a guy’s interest will be clear through his actions. There are male relationship coaches that are for women’s empowerment that advise of this as well even YouTube videos. You don’t have to put up with disrespect. You don’t have to tolerate bad behavior. You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to take the 1st man that comes along and shows you attention. You don’t have to prove you’re worthy of his love like he’s some saint. We’ve all made mistakes and have dishonored ourselves at some point so know that I am just like you. Not perfect. Nonetheless, at some point, we have to break the cycles and stop doing the same things over and over. We have to love ourselves enough to do what’s in our best interest ladies and make better decisions. Women have always been regarded as a prize. Back in the 19th century, for example, a man would have to prove that he could support a wife and any future kid(s) BEFORE the woman’s father would give his permission. Hmmm… That makes sense to me. And I know some of you are going to say that times have changed. Of course; we’re not living in the Victorian era anymore but the simple concept of a man being able to support a woman still holds true. Support doesn’t only pertain to finances but that includes emotional support, support of your goals and dreams, spiritual support. You can do bad all by yourself. Hell, you can do better all by yourself. A man should add value to your life. And that excludes sex. Yes, I said it! He should add value to your life without sex. If you took sex out of the equation, would there really be any real compatibility? Unfortunately, for some of you, the physical is the only reason you’re putting up with him. You have to love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. YOU are a prize. You are God’s daughter. You are a Queen. You should treat yourself like one and therefore be treated like one. Why are you putting up with being treated less than the royalty you are? Don’t settle. Here are a few tips:
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Alone. One reason many of us settle and just put up with any ol’ behavior from a man is because we’re afraid to be alone. Some of us have never been alone. We’ve gone from relationship to relationship. That is a recipe for disaster. What is the root of that? You should do some self-reflection to figure out why you keep choosing not to be alone. Your worth is not defined by your relationship status. We all like the company of others but that shouldn’t make you settle for just anyone solely for the sake of having someone. Increase your self-love and learn to enjoy your own company. Being by yourself is better than being with the wrong person. Single and Happy vs. Being with Him and Miserable. Your choice.
Change Your Beliefs About Yourself. Some of you don’t feel worthy enough to have a good relationship. Maybe you were abandoned by your mother or father so you don’t feel worthy of love. Maybe you were never shown love by your family. So you don’t feel worthy of love like you’re not good enough for it. No matter what your past is, you can always make a different choice today. You hold the power over your beliefs. Know that you are worthy of love. You deserve love. Love is patient, love is kind. And love feels good. Love itself is easy. Work on your beliefs about yourself. You have to heal internally first. If you don’t like you, how can you expect others to like you? If you don’t love yourself, then no one else will. If you don’t feel worthy of love, then you can’t attract it. Know your worth. You are worthy and deserving of true love. Believe it and it will be so.
Don’t Be Afraid To Start Over. No one wants to start over. Heck no! It sucks. But let’s try a different perspective. Look at it as an opportunity for better. I understand you may have invested a lot of time even years. But if you’re not growing or you’re not happy or you’re not at peace, then something is not right. Trying to avoid the truth, your truth, is what keeps you in the rut. You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge. Just going through the motions can’t be fun nor healthy. Just because you’ve been together 10 years, for example, doesn’t mean that you should stay for another unhappy 10 years. The unknown may be scary. But what’s familiar isn’t working for you. Be honest with yourself. What if you loved yourself enough to walk away, took a year or two off to work on yourself, then manifested the love of your life that you would be with for the next 50 years? If you knew that was possible, you wouldn’t be concerned with the 10 years you may have wasted as opposed to spending the next 50 years with your soul mate. If you really believed that you deserved the very love you’ve always dreamt about having, would you be settling? Don’t be afraid to start over. You’ll likely gain something better than what you lost.
If you keep holding onto what you need to let go of, you may be blocking your blessings.